thank god for our mundane lives

Posted on May 9, 2007

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Oh yeah, our lives are mundane but we like it that way if it means staying out of jail, Paris Hilton, thank you very much.

No, you don’t enliven our mundane lives, despite what your spoilt little pea brain might think.

And I fancy you even much less as “inspirational” to young people around the world.

The soon-to-be-jailed heiress has reportedly backed an online petition for her pardon from a 45-day jail sentence after being found guilty of violating her probation for a drink-driving conviction, giving those above two reasons as the basis for her pardon.

I say, go to jail Paris, it’ll do you some good. You’d be able to experience a genuinely “mundane” existence there so that you won’t ever dare describe our lives that way again.

Hey, we might not have your cash but at least we can read – we would know when our licenses are suspended and take a cab instead. Heck, with your type of money, surely you could afford a chauffeur?

Part of having mundane lives means turning up in court punctually. If you’d been as mundane as us, you might have learnt to show respect to the courts and might not have pissed Judge Michael Sauer off so much. Who knows, he might even not have ordered you thrown in the slammer.

You should also know that having mundane lives means reading our own violations charges and understanding them. We don’t have armies of lawyers, assistants and publicists to read for us, so that we won’t risk missing out on reading the really important stuff. And end up in jail. Or are you really that dumb?

Anyway, you’re not a minor, for crying out loud. You’re 26. It’s time to grow up and be an adult. Take responsibility for your actions and go obediently to jail. Have fun living a mundane life.

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Posted in: crime, life, paris hilton, US